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Bloomingteconomics
16th Poorest City in the U.S.
The finance website Insider Monkey ranks Bloomington, Indiana the 16th poorest city in the United States. But on the bright side, we are wealthier than 15 of the other 19,500 cities! Bloomington's high poverty rate is great news for employers, as wages can be kept down and profits up!
Above: artist's rendition (All disapproved artists will be renditioned to the new jail.)
New Mega-Jail will solve our problems!
"With upcoming raids by ICE-Proud Boys joint patrols scheduled for Bloomington and nearby communities, we are going to need more space to house our undesirable population," says Monroe County Council President Kennifer Krossley. "That’s why the Council is proud to impose our plan for the new mega prison complex that we are calling Hoosier Hellhole."
Monroe County Sheriff Kuben Karté has long supported the "Big, beautiful jail." Karté explains, "Let’s say somebody is applying for citizenship, or they are homeless, or they are protesting genocide. We need a place to lock those people up to make a show of our president's final solution. The beauty of the new jail is that is financed entirely by taxes on the poor and middle class, the very same people we planned to incinerate, er, incarcerate."
Recently, the United States fell behind El Salvador as the country imprisoning the largest percentage of its population of any nation on Earth. The new Monroe county jail is a small, but important, step toward reclaiming the prestige of being number one.
City and county officials want to assure the public that the new Monroe County jail will have all of the luxury amenities of a modern American prison camp, like metal beds, lights that never turn out, seatless metal toilets in full view of other inmates, redundant strip searches, infectious diseases, and “food.”
So, look the other way, Bloomington, as your government makes progress in the fight against its own people!
Braundiana University